Affirmations vs. Mantras: Finding Words Your Body Can Believe
I grew up with affirmations on cassette tapes. It was the 80s. (I also had big hair and shoulder pads, but that is a different blog.) We were told that if we repeated things like:
“I believe in myself.”
“I can do anything I put my mind to.”
“I’m resilient.”
… we’d start to believe them.
But if you were struggling with depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem — like I was — those phrases didn’t land. Somewhere in my body, I could feel it: “Bullsht.”* I wanted to believe. I just… couldn’t. And that disconnect; It made things worse.
Why Affirmations Often Don’t Work
When you repeat something your body doesn’t believe, you create a subtle inner war. You’re saying one thing — but your nervous system is quietly pushing back. The discomfort builds. The tension lingers. Sometimes, the more you force it, the more your body shuts down.
How I Discovered the Power of Mantra
I first learned about mantras when I was studying Buddhist Wisdom and Psychology.
Traditionally, a mantra is a word or phrase repeated in meditation to help focus the mind. The word mantra comes from Sanskrit, meaning “sacred message, text, charm, spell, or counsel.”
Mantras were often chanted to create rhythm, presence, and deep focus.
One of the most well-known is:
✨ Om Mani Padme Hum
When I started exploring mantras, I realized something profound: it wasn’t just about the sound or tradition — it was about what resonated.
My teacher told me, “Any phrase will work as long as it’s believable to your mind and body.” That changed everything for me. It freed me to find words that soothed me personally, not just ancient chants.
Realistic, Soothing Mantras That Actually Land
Mantras don’t need to be big, bold, or perfect.
They just need to feel true.
For me, mantras sound like:
✔️ “I’m in the process of believing in myself.”
✔️ “It’s okay to be kind to myself.”
✔️ “I’m learning to be kind to myself.”
✔️ “I’m learning that I am good enough.”
They don’t ask me to leap.
They simply invite me to soften.
They could be words to ground me:
✔️ “Here.”
✔️ “”I’m safe, I’m warm, I’m loved.”
✔️ “Breathe.”
✔️ “Release.”
At times, labeling an emotion can help.
✔️ “Frustration is here.”
✔️ “Judging.”
✔️ “Anger is here.”
✔️ “Saddness is here.”
The key is not to analyze the word; simply repeat it if it resonates. A true word or phrase has the power to bring us back to the present moment.
How You Know You’ve Found the Right Mantra
Your body will tell you.
You’ll feel it:
✨ A little sigh
✨ Your shoulders drop
✨ The tension eases, even just a little
That’s your body saying, “Okay. I can believe this.”
If you say something and your body stays tight, anxious, or resistant — it’s probably not your mantra yet. Start smaller. Start softer. Start where you are.
Science shows that if you repeat a mantra a minimum of 10 times, it has time to take root in the mind and trickle down to the body. This changes our neurotransmitters. Neurons that fire together wire together.
My Takeaway
- Affirmations: Can feel forced, especially when you’re hurting.
- Mantras: Should feel believable, soothing, and body-validated.
💬 What’s your ‘right now’ mantra? I’d love to hear the words that are helping you soften.